That's one question rather easy to answer - conditioning! That is the reason why boys don't cry. Boys are conditioned to keep the image of strength and machismo, even if it breaks their insides in the process. To cry is to defy this order. Its not allowed.

I am gay and very comfortable with my sexuality. I'm the man who loves other men. The world knows and I do not really give much of a damn. Recently I did the one thing I was not particularly hopeful of accomplishing in this lifetime. I fell in love. On cloud nine at the fuddy old age of 30 with this sweet 21 year old kid. Its feels good for it is reciprocated ounce for ounce. Allow me to share a bit of the story of my boyfriend and our love to illustrate why boys don't cry.

My boyfriend is the only male child of a conservative family settled in a small town. He was always told to live up to the strong male role of provider-caretaker-protector. He was not allowed to cry. But, he is more in tune with femininity as a gender identification. He identifies more as a woman than as a man. The mismatch of what he felt and what he was expected to be, suffocated him. Moreover there was no anchor to peg his feelings against. Every mooring was heterosexual; alternatives did not exist. He therefore grew up with only one ambition. To earn enough to be able to move out of his family and have a sex-change operation so that he could become a proper woman.

Then he moved to the big bad city and fell in love with me. He let me know that he wanted to have a sex-change operation. "But why?" I asked.

"For you" he replied calmly "so that we can get married".

"We can live together and be like married" I reasoned "I like you exactly the way you are, you do not have to change anything for me."

"No" he replied, "I still want to do it"

I was getting exasperated. I demanded a better reason.

"Well" came the coy reply " I also want to have a baby"

This was a shocker. I had no idea that he did not know that sex change did not make you fit for pregnancy. Still I re-confirmed, "You mean you want to adopt a kid?"

"No buddhu! Our baby - I want to get pregnant and have a proper baby"

As carefully as I could, I broke the scientific facts to him. I told him that sex change only meant altering the external genitalia. It did not involve creation of the ovaries and the womb. Therefore one could not have babies even after sex change. Even as I was doing so I could read on his face the gradual crumbling to dust of the entire edifice of dreams that he had so meticulously conjured up for himself. I felt the pain too, for when you are in love, you instinctively feel the other person's feelings.

Thereafter the floodgates broke and he cried. For a very long time, just clung to me and cried. He could. He felt like a woman after all. My heart was breaking too at his sorrow; there was a heavy knot at my throat.

But I did not cry. I felt like it, but I couldn't. I played my role instead. I acted the man. I lend a shoulder. I remained the source of strength, even as my own strength ebbed away with his tears. Some primordial instinct told me that it was expected of me. That he would not bear it if I too broke down. Maybe even not understand.

Pure conditioning! The man…doesn't cry. Even if it kills him!

From: Aditya