Emotional Expression

One of the reasons why children feel helpless in the face of emotions such as fear and anger is because they lack any real understanding of them. One of the reasons why they are also uncomfortable with handling these emotions is because adults around them disapprove of such emotional expression. In consequence children often distance themselves from such emotions and become strangers to their own nature. The more children are allowed to acknowledge and accept their emotions as a natural part of their nature the more they can learn how to express them in appropriate and helpful ways. These meditations are suitable for adults as well.

1. Fear (Age 5 upwards)

Start by asking children to sit in a comfortable position and close their eyes. They should begin to focus on their breathing.

Tell them to imagine that they are watching a film on television, which is quite scary. It has come to a point when a man and a woman are being chased by strange looking people who want to destroy them. They run underground into a dark tunnel with their pursuers right behind them. They are terrified and are getting tired of running. Suddenly they see the tunnel is dividing into two. They decide to go right and to their horror find a wall in front of them blocking them. They turn around and see the frightening people coming right at them……

Stop the story once it has begun to create mild amounts of fear (you will be able to tell by the child’s body language). Ask the children whilst they have their eyes closed to explore the feeling of fear in their body. Where is it? How do they recognize it as fear? How does it feel? Why is it unpleasant? Then ask them to relax and see the fear draining out of their body as they do.

After they have opened their eyes help them realize that the more they know and understand fear, the less they will be influenced by it. Tell them that fear is only the various feelings in the body that they have identified. When they relax fear goes away. Let them talk about their experience and realizations during the meditation. Also (especially with boys who are taught that fear is unmanly) discuss how fear is positive as it releases a drug called adrenalin in the body, which helps give us a burst of energy, which me can then use to run away if we have to. Therefore fear can also help us protect ourselves.

2. Anger (Age 5 upwards)

The Fear meditation (above) can also be used to explore anger. You can tell children a story which is bound to bring up anger in them…anything to do with unfairness to children or to animals can do the trick (do not make the story unnecessarily gruesome). Then ask them to identify where anger is in their body and how it feels. Then ask them to relax and feel the anger drain away. In the discussion that follows you can encourage them to describe what makes them angry and help them see that anger like fear has a very useful side to it as well. It can help us protect ourselves and stand up for others who are being treated unfairly. But like fear anger should be a servant and not a master. The more children can understand their anger and what triggers it the more capable they will be of knowing which anger they should relax and let slip away and which anger is justified.

3. Sadness (Age 5 upwards)

The Fear and Anger meditations format can be used to address sadness as well. Don’t tell a story that may be too overwhelming for a child but you can tell a story instead that will bring up a mild feeling of sadness such as a favorite toy which broke, a pet which has gotten lost etc. Then ask them to identify where sadness is in their body and how it feels. Then ask them to relax and feel the sadness drain away and be replaced by a feeling of peace and happiness. At the end of the meditation discuss with children the other times in their lives that they have felt sad and listen to the reasons for feeling that way. Ask them why they think we have the ability to feel sad and try to link it to the point that sadness is linked to sympathy and concern for others and ourselves and can prompt us to do something to help those who are suffering and can help us change our lives for the better. Talk to them about how emotions like sadness help us realize that we need to change certain things in our lives so that we can be more peaceful.

Modified and Excerpted from Teaching Meditation to Children by David Fontana and Ingrid Slack.