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Pregnancy:
Are You Ready for It?
Pregnancy
can be a truly wondrous experience for a woman and her family,
and is a life-changing event. But many women may not be prepared
and ready for it when it occurs, or may have many apprehensions
that go beyond the realm of the usual nervous excitement of
impending motherhood. The pregnancy may be unplanned, or she
may feel insecure about the family she lives in, her marriage
might be in trouble and the baby might be seen as a quick
solution; or worse still, she just may not want it at this
stage in her life.
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If you are
well into your pregnancy and if you are excited about it,
then enjoy it and nurture the life inside in every possible
way. The connection between a pregnant mother and her fetus
is an intense and life-long bond and studies have shown that
everything the mother eats, sees, hears and even feels and
thinks within herself is being transferred to the child inside
her.
Scores
of studies have investigated fetal awareness and consciousness
of external events and situations as well as maternal, emotional
and psychological states. Send an email to The
Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Healing
to receive issues of the Journal of Pre- and Perinatal Psychology
and Health for more information and personal stories.
The
studies presented here are abridged, the full text of which
is available at www.birthpsychology.com.
- The
Fetal Senses: What Babies Can Feel
- Prenatal
Memory and Learning
- The
Unwanted Child
- The
Capacity to Love
Creating a Special
Space
 If
a fetus is so sensitive to external stimulation like music,
and even the mother's responses to images in movies, then
it only follows that the mother's feelings about herself,
the child, her husband/partner, the family, and the responses
and reactions of all these people also have an impact on the
child. Imagine what a female fetus would feel if she was constantly
aware that the mother feels stress about not producing a female
child because her in-laws want a male child? Or if the mother
is silently resentful that the pregnancy has curtailed her
professional career growth, would the fetus feel wanted and
loved? Or if she is simply under a great deal of physical,
emotional stress and does not have time to take care of or
nurture herself or her child, would the child feel cared for
and protected?
Your fetus
is completely dependent on you for love, care, and emotional,
physical, and spiritual nourishment and that is the most important
aspect of a pregnancy, so you need to be aware of how much
of what you think and feel affects your child. As a parent-to-be
here are some things to be aware of to create a safe and healthy
space for your child:
-
Try
to ensure that your family or spouse or partner are supportive
and happy about the pregnancy, for this has a direct impact
on a mother's mood and feelings. Any negativity or pressure
on the mother, any feelings of low self-esteem, criticism,
or emotional trauma is directly filtered to the child.
-
- Make
sure your diet, exercise routines and medical check-ups
are regular and well-monitored.
-
If
you already have a child and are expecting another one,
then do talk to your child about the new baby, find out
if he/she is feeling insecure about how much attention
or care he/she will receive and put your child's fears
to rest. Share time with your child, talking to and helping
him/her communicate positively to the unborn fetus.
-
-
Start
relaxation exercises, meditation, or some other spiritual
practice that will calm and center you and help you rid
yourself of any anxiety and stress.
-
-
Listen
to calm soothing music during your pregnancy, dance if
you enjoy it and read to your child.
-
-
A
mother who faces pressure to bear a male child carries
anxiety within herself and is in fact conveying to her
possibly female child that she is not wanted. Refrain
from thinking or feeling this and make your baby feel
welcome and wanted!
-
-
If
you are a single parent make sure you are surrounded by
friends and family who are caring and supportive and who
can take care of work, finances, home etc. for you.
Meditation
for Pregnant Moms-to-Be
Find
a quiet comfortable corner of your house that is assigned
as your meditation space where you can lie down and be comfortable.
Don't do it on your bed if you think you might fall asleep!
Put on either some spiritual music, calm instrumental music,
chants or other music that makes you feel relaxed and peaceful.
And enjoy!
-
Close
your eyes, take a few deep breaths to calm down and relax.
As you inhale feel your abdomen expanding outwards, filled
with breath. As you exhale feel your lungs and abdomen
contract and move inwards.
-
-
With
every breath that you take in feel yourself being filled
with light, imagine your breath is a colored light. As
you exhale feel yourself released of stress and tension.
-
-
-
-
-
When
you feel centered and calm imagine right above your head
a brilliant golden or white light that is peaceful, loving,
and benevolent. Call it God, Universal Love, your own
higher awareness, your soul…something that is powerful,
divine, and loving. Thank this light for it's presence
as a guiding force in your life, thank the presence of
the God you worship for this ability to feel and communicate
deeply, and thank yourself and your child for the experience.
Feel yourself abundant in blessing, grace, and love.
-
-
Feel
this light moving into your head and down into your heart,
and from there into your arms and finally in your palms.
Place your palms on your stomach and abdomen and feel
the divine light going to your womb through your palms,
full of love and tenderness for the life within. Spend
some time just sending in all the love and wonder you
feel for this new life within you. Be aware of all the
sensations and feelings in your body and in the baby.
-
-
Now,
put one hand on your heart and keep one on your stomach.
imagine a connection like a tunnel of light from your
heart to your uterus (inside the cavity of your body)
that all your feelings flow through.
-
-
Now
start talking to the baby silently, and feel the words
and their sound flowing from your heart to your baby through
the tunnel of light.
-
-
Thank
the child for it's presence in your life, and express
your love in the most special and intimate ways. Talk
about how much you are looking forward to him/her and
that he/she represents the most divine and wondrous part
of you. Reassure the child that you will take care of
it, and be cautious and aware that you do not state any
of your own insecurities, fears, and anxieties to the
child. Say everything that is positive and loving to the
child. You could also feel images moving through your
hands into the body, like a rainbow, lots of colored light,
flowers, images that would make the child feel and experience
beauty and peace.
-
-
-
-
Give
messages that are positive about the gender of the child,
especially if the people around you are expecting one
gender and not the other. Always make the child feel wanted
and reassured.
-
-
You
could ask the child to talk back, to communicate with
you. Don't expect "words" but be aware of feelings and
experiences that are all within your enormous capacity
for communication with your child.
-
-
When
you are through thank the child for the communication
and promise to come back and talk some more with him/her,
thank the Divine Light flowing through you, and the Gods
and Masters who guide and nourish you.
Meditation
for Pregnant Dads-to-Be
Find
a quiet comfortable corner of your house that is assigned
as your meditation space where you can lie down and be comfortable.
Don't do it on your bed if you think you might fall asleep!
Put on either some spiritual music, calm instrumental music,
chants or other music that makes you feel relaxed and peaceful.
And enjoy!
-
Close
your eyes, take a few deep breaths to calm down and relax.
As you inhale feel your abdomen expanding outwards, filled
with breath. As you exhale feel your lungs and abdomen
contract and move inwards.
-
-
With
every breath that you take in feel yourself being filled
with light. Feel your breath as a colored light filling
your body. As you exhale feel yourself released of stress
and tension.
-
-
When
you feel centered and calm, imagine right above your head
a brilliant golden or white light that is peaceful, loving,
and benevolent. Call it God, Universal Love, your own
higher aware self, your soul…something is that powerful,
divine, and loving. Thank this light for it's presence
as a guiding force in your life, thank the presence of
the God you worship for this ability to feel and communicate
deeply, and thank yourself and your child for the experience.
Feel yourself abundant in blessing, grace, and love.
-
-
Feel
this light moving into your head and down into heart,
and from there into your arms and in your palms. Place
your palms on your partner's stomach and abdomen and feel
that with the light going into her body there is only
love and tenderness for the life within. Spend some time
just sending in all the love and wonder you feel for this
new life within the mother. Be aware of all the sensations
and feelings in your body and in the baby.
-
-
Now
put one hand on your heart and leave the other on the
mothers stomach. Imagine a connection like a tunnel of
light from your heart to the mother's uterus through which
feelings flow.
-
-
Thank
the child for its presence in your life (you can do this
silently), and express your love in the most special and
intimate ways. Talk about how much you are looking forward
to him/her and that he/she represents the most divine
and wondrous part of you. Always reassure the child that
you will take care of it, and be cautious and aware of
not expressing your own insecurities, fears, and anxieties
to the child at any stage. Say everything that is positive
and loving to the child. You could also feel images moving
through your hands into the body, like a rainbow, lots
of colored light, flowers, images that would make the
child feel and experience beauty and peace.
-
-
Give
messages that are positive about the gender of the child,
especially if people around you are expecting one gender
and not the other. Always make the child feel wanted and
reassured.
-
-
Talk
to the child pledging love and a deep connection of playfulness,
laughter and intimacy. Promise to take care of and protect
the mother, and express the joy of being a family.
-
-
You
could ask the child to talk back, to communicate with
you. Don't expect "words" but be aware of feelings and
experiences that are all within your enormous capacity
for communication with your child.
-
-
When
you are through thank the child for the communication
and promise to come back and talk some more with him/her,
thank the Divine
Light flowing through you, and the Gods and Masters
who guide and nourish you.
Books
on Fetal Awareness and the Mother-Child Bond
- Christianne
Northrup (1998): Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom (2nd Edition),
New York, Bantam Books
- Niravi
Payne (1997) The Language of Fertility. New York: Harmony
Books
- Alice
Domar (1997) Healthy Body, Healthy Mind. New York: Doubleday
and Company
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